Stronger

I don't know if it's because of the warm weather or the fact that Spring break is this week, but I have been in a fantastically, optimistic mood this weekend! I haven't even really done anything that exciting, I'm just happy :) A few months ago, before Alex left I had a hard time imagining what my life would be like without him. I know that sounds a little pathetic, but that's how I felt! His life was so completely intertwined with mine and when he left, it was as if half of myself left. Or so I thought.

I know it's only been about 2 1/2 months, but I feel like I'm a better and stronger person than I was before Alex left. I've learned to rely on the Lord more than I ever have before and I've noticed so many blessings in my life. I used to run to Alex for everything whether it be help with homework, life problems or computer help. Now I'm learning how to figure everything out on my own and I'm getting smarter! I don't really have anyone I want to complain to these days, so I complain a lot less. I've vowed to only write Alex positive things in my letters to him and I do believe our relationship will be better because of that. I'm doing better in school and my relationships with other people have been strengthened. I've made a few new friends and I've been reconnecting with some old friends.

I've become a lot more confident in myself. I don't worry about impressing anyone and I've stopped comparing myself to others. I'm happy with who I am and even though I don't have loads of friends to party with every weekend and I haven't been on a date in about 2 1/2 months (not that I want to date) I'm  still happy because I know I have a beautiful future ahead of me. :)

As for my life the next 21 months.. it looks promising! I'm super excited to go to Philmont, I'm looking forward to upcoming photo shoots with some awesome people, I get to go to Bear Lake with my family in a couple weeks and we may go on a cruise in September.. :). I'm also glad to I'll be getting so much school done and will probably graduate in the Spring of 2014. My life no longer seems empty because Alex is gone. It is beautiful and full of potential. I don't need a boy complete me right now because I have grown strong enough to take on the world alone. Although I'm not ever really alone..

Don't worry, I still adore Alex and his letters melt my heart. He is still a part of my life and I love getting to hear from him every Monday and Friday. I have just realized that I don't need him here to be happy. I can make myself happy. And even though some days are much harder than others, in the words of Kelly Clarkson, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

<3~Rachel

I happen to prefer the Glee version of this song.